Happiness...

Wife: Do u have any idea what would happen 2 u if I die?
HUsband: I might also die.
Wife: Why?
Husband: Sometimes too much happiness causes death....

Taning...

Wife: Love, may taning na nag buhay ko.Yakapin mo ako sa huling hantungan. Husband: Tumigil ka nga riyan! Maaga pa pa gsing ko bukas. Buti ka pa hindi na!

Strict...

Sa future, pag nagkaasawa ka na at gusto mong umuwi nang maaga ang iyong asawa, itxt mo sya, "sex will start 8 pm with or without you."

Home version of who wants to be a millionaire:

Husband: Dear pwede k b ngayon?

Wife: Di pwede pagod ako!

Husband: Is that finaL?

Wife: Final!!!

Husband: Ok, can i call a friend???

First night after wedding....

Husband: Bakit ganyan flower mo hon warat na? Kala ko ako lang 1st bf mo?

Wife: Di ko naman bf ang mga nauna sayo, costumers ko.