Funny Pinoy Jokes

A girl who opens her mind receives WISDOM;
opens her heart receives LOVE;
opens her hand receives gifts;
opens her legs receives hapPENIS..hmmm..Wrong speling ata noh?

________________________________

A gr8 luv s wen u shed tirs & stil care 4 him.
its wen he ignores u & stil long 4 him.
its wen he bgns 2 luv anoder & smyl & say "ok lng, supot nmn siya"

___________________________________

A luv $tory that can only be read by cute people.

____________________________________

THe END, kaka-in love no?nbsa mo b?hehehe

_____________________________________

A rapist wid a knife threatened a nun:
"LIfe or Reputation?" After the rape, the
nun got the knife, collared the rapist and said:
"Life or Repitition?"

______________________________________

A simple "HI" to the cutest person in d Philippines (dats u)
frm the cutest in d whole universe. (ahem!dats me.)
'wag kng kumontra,piso ko to, no!

___________________________________

A time 2 cry a tym 2 smile a tym 2 laugh & a tym 2 luv.
but now is a time 4 LUNCH, anong ulam m? penge nmn!

____________________________________

A witch wanted 2 cast a spell on u and turn u into an ugly
creture.Eh luv kita, kya iniligtas kita.Sabi ko sa mangku2lam,
"Manang, pangit n yan, maawa k nmn!"

________________________________

A woman has d last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after dat is d beginning of a new argument

___________________________

ABC-always b careful.DEF- dnt ever 4get.JKLM-jaz kip liking me
NOPQRSTUVWXYZ-no other person quite reasonable
shal trit u very wel xcept me. yu'll zee!.

_______________________________

ACRONYMS
S.A.N. M.I.G.U.E.L. P.A.L.E. P.I.L.S.E.N.
A.N.D. B.O.T.T.L.E.D
-Sa amin nayon may isang gago uminom eh lasing, pati ako lasing eh.
Pati ikaw,lasing.Sige,inom na, natural din, bawat order
talagang trouble.Lasing eh,di ba?Yes.

______________________________________

Advantage at disadvantage ng my asawa....
Advantage: Kung kailan m gus2,nanjan agad.
Disadvantage: kahit hnd m gus2, nanjan p rin.

_____________________________________--

Alam m b kung ano ang gngwa s mga CUTE?
Pino-proseCUTE
Ini-electroCUTE
Ini-exeCUTE
O, ano? Cute k p b? Ako, Hindi na!
Mahirap n, NakatataCUTE!

__________________________________-

ALL ABOUT SHOES
Kapag ngulat ka......Shoes ginoo!
Kung naki2raan ka...Shoes mi nga ho!
Ang itsura ko...Wow! Mashoe!
See u next tym.....Til ne ishoe!

___________________________________--

Americans hve a hard tym cheering MANNY PACQUIAO
They can not shout his name. Because f dey wil,it wil sound
"MANNY F*CK YOU.....!

_____________________________________

Amoy mo ay Espesyal na Bulaklak At Cologne.In short, amoy
E.B.A.C ka!Ohhh!Ang bango mo!

_____________________________________-

Anak: Dear Itay, pdalhn m ako ng pera kc ang mga dmit ko
pinagka2in ng daga.
Itay: Dear Anak, wla akong pera. kung gus2 m, meron d2 pusa.

____________________________________________

ANAK: buntis ata ako, nahi2lo ko.
INAY: di ka buntis
ANAK: nadu2wal ako
INAY: di ka buntis
ANAK: gs2 ko ng maasim
INAY: PUNYETA!GUS2 MO PITPITIN KO'NG BALLS MO?

____________________________________

Ang Army sa Mindanao
Officer1: Ganito tlga d2,100 tayo,wlang ba2e,200 kmbing lng.
Kya bilisan n ntin pumili ng kmbing at bka maunhan tau.
Officer2: Ha? e baket ngma2dali? e mas mdami nmang kmbing kesa
s atin
Officer3: Ikaw dn bka panget mkuha m

______________________________________

Ang kaibigan ay prang ebak, mainit at mlambot, mhirap tiisin,
hnfi m mgwang tpakan, ska mdikit. Prang ikaw, hndi kita
kyang tiisin o saktan. hve a nice day, my one & only ebs!

_________________________________________

Ang kaibigan ko kasi eh diabetic, nkuha nya s tatay nya.
Tatay kasi nya eh.....sugar daddy!

_______________________________________

Ang pagka2ibigan ntin, sinTIBAY ng BATO, sinTATAG ng SEMENTO
sinLAKAS ng maso, sinKAMA at TALONG, sinGARILYAS at mani,
sinTAW, bataw, PATANi!

________________________________________

Ang syota ay prang sbaw, kailangan higupin m agd hbang mainit!
Ang Mrs. ay prng sardinas, bu2ksan mo lng pg wla ng ibng ulam!

______________________________________

Ano ang problema ko?knina ko p kc iniisip ito. Pag ngpanggap
b akong pangit, my mani2wla kya? Tell me please, gulong gulo
tlga isip ko!

MORE JOKES AT THESE LINKS:

* FUNNY PINOY JOKES

* INCREDIBLE FUNNY PINOY JOKES

* FUNNY TEXT MESSAGES

__________________________________